How to get over an unrequited love...
How to get over an unrequited love in four easy - and completely inappropriate - steps.
1. Discover that the object of your affection has a new Gaydar profile.
2. Spontaneously decide to invent a new Gaydar profile yourself without thinking through the consequences, message him, and end up having really hot cyber sex together because you know what turns him on.
3. Have him cotton on to who you are immediately thereafterwards, deny everything in a panic, burst into tears, and the next day write him a long apology in which you confess to having carried an unrequited passion for him around for ages, which you had tried but failed to sublimate into a friendship, and which boiled over earlier this year when he announced he was moving interstate.
4. Expect that he will never, ever want to see you or talk with you again.
Or in other words, invade someone's privacy, betray their trust, behave like a complete cunt, and feel as miserable as all fuck for days afterwards while alternating crying jags with fits of self-loathing.
That's how you get over an unrequited love in four simple fucking steps.
OhmanI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry.
I'msuchastupidfuckingcunt.
1. Discover that the object of your affection has a new Gaydar profile.
2. Spontaneously decide to invent a new Gaydar profile yourself without thinking through the consequences, message him, and end up having really hot cyber sex together because you know what turns him on.
3. Have him cotton on to who you are immediately thereafterwards, deny everything in a panic, burst into tears, and the next day write him a long apology in which you confess to having carried an unrequited passion for him around for ages, which you had tried but failed to sublimate into a friendship, and which boiled over earlier this year when he announced he was moving interstate.
4. Expect that he will never, ever want to see you or talk with you again.
Or in other words, invade someone's privacy, betray their trust, behave like a complete cunt, and feel as miserable as all fuck for days afterwards while alternating crying jags with fits of self-loathing.
That's how you get over an unrequited love in four simple fucking steps.
OhmanI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry.
I'msuchastupidfuckingcunt.
Comments
**big hugs**
*big hugs*
could i sound any more new-age, self-help, slap-me-across-the-face right now?
but i mean it.
and there are unlimited hugs on offer, x.
Frankly, I think what you did was clever and hilarious, and the only bad thing about it was you were caught.
Hopefully he has a sense of hunour (and perspective).
Seriously, if it's the worst thing you ever do, you're doing alright.